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Interview with Attila Csongor Sandor!

2015.06.13

img_0043-.jpg.jpgAttila  Csongor Sandor born in Tirgu Mures, 27-year-old gay young man.
He lives in Vienna, Austria. His
occupation is really multiple. Applicant pre-school teacher assistants, secretaries, students and art in a radio presenter and editor, announcer and DJ. Everything about  cooking, art and radio is the kingdom of heaven for him. He visited many places in Europe but he is really impressed by his birthplace simplicity and beauty: St. Anne Lake, Bear Lake, Praid, Sovata, Turda. I know him personally, as he was my partner for 4 months! Although our relationship ended I  think he is still my friend and an important part of my life. I know Csongor as an always cheerful, optimistic-minded guy, who is not afraid of a challenge and always strives to offer the maximum. Creativity just patience, persistence and good humor beats. Family, friendships and togetherness are very important for him. This subject of this article is one of the gay people I know  and who proves that even his life as a gay can be full, satisfying and happy, and therefore I asked him about his homosexuality, coming out and experiences.

 

- When did you find out you're gay and how it affected you?
Csongor: -  I realized a long time ago that I'm different, I think when I had 5-6 years , but at that time I could'nt identify what is this about. At the age of 10 I realized for sure I am gay, and the effect was very sensitive and tensed, because I could not handle it ... It took years until I could sort myself, but the real breakthrough for me  was moving abroad.

 

When did you confesed for the first time about your own homosexuality and how they react to it? Csongor: - For the first time it was in a camp when I admitted my homosexuality. I didn't told to a person but to a complex team. They did not overreact it,  they said they knew already about me, but they said it's nothing wrong, love and humanity are the most importance. I was kindly surprised, this was not what I expected ...  this time I was about 12.

 

- When did you tell your parents that you are homosexual?
Csongor: - I did'nt had to tell to my parents, my mother knew, and she found it by herself. She is a very smart lady, it was'nt to difficult for her, my father found out from my mother  and there was not a great debate about it, but a lot of smaller ones. Anyway, it was not a daily topic ... It was not easy for them to accept it, but fortunately they didn't let me to feel it. Today, I think both of them know what homosexuality is, but in an environment where the neighbors words and opinions counts a lot, there is not easy to be  100% accepter. My parents are not enough open to foreign style, they are moving forward very slowly ... but we fight our own war, and I tell this for all of you...

 

Mentally how difficult was for them?
Csongor: - My parents were not affected very badly, as I mentioned, my mother knew my father  found out it later. My parents are intelligent, they could catch and work on the situation and its weight. But of course, there were minor outbursts, but we managed to handle and discuss them. Today, everything is all right, maybe in difficult moments we were led by the fact that I knew their spirit  and they knew mine,  this is the most important.

 

- When did you had your first relationship and with whom?
Csongor: - My first relationship I had with a classmate ... we have been together for years in secret and I would like to keep it the same.


- Why did you decide to take on your homosexuality?
Csongor: - Is really very important to  think about when you should start to take on the shoes in the right time and at the right place. I have started to take on because of the lies that "have a girlfriend, not have a girlfriend,  I left her, she left me" . Of course, my life has not been easy at once, but gradually I made it so. There are relatives of mine who do not invite me to them, they can not really accept their gay relative, but it does not bother me. It's not easier and it's not harder. I made myself the best that I have undertaken, and I do it now as well! You do not have phonies, but did not take the hairpin ... Who knows me can tell when I'm natural and when I overact on it... life should be taken positive and joking. Undertaking myself was also good for me because I got to know better myself, I saw my limits and I was able to set my values ​​and my rules. Undertaken helps in many ways our everyday lives.

 

- Many homosexual people are afraid  that negative reactions will reach them. It happened to you to have  atrocities because you're gay?
Csongor: -  I had no atrocities in particular, maybe one or two, but there wasn't any  sign of it, I did'nt get any information why I received the criticism. Perhaps there were more
shouts, but I also learned to handle them, I'm not interested in what you say, but in who is  saying it. Last atrocity was now, when I came toward home in Budapest I wanted at Népliget metro station to take mineral water and surrounded by a pair of invertebrates and alcohol reeking fans, because there was football game  in the stadium, and they called me romanian and then faggot. It may that they were not aware what was really happening, but we had to go from there anyway... You should know that there is no new anti-Semitic , just old, they bring with them from their fathers. They get to know us, let's be gay, romanians, Jews or whoever. It was a sad situation. Such a situations have to be learned how to manage them, as I did,  quickly take the best decision !!! :)

What are the positive aspects of being gay as you live your life?
Csongor: - The warmth of my many positive aspects, maybe not all are listed, but some, I am much nicer, I have better ability to experiencing, I am more helpful, more understandable, more open, more inclusive, more active, I can give myself ...

 

- How do you think we relate to gays in Vienna?
Csongor: - in Vienna  the  attitude to gays is completely different than in the East: Here the mentality  plays an important role, here nobody cares how are you dressed up, but nobody will mind if you catch your partner's hand or kiss each other. Obviously, it's not the same everywhere in Vienna, but this is not that bad city. Here, as everywhere there are always one or two persons who can not accept it, who insults you, look at you, stare at. The behavior counts a lot.

 

What do you think, Hungarian society is quite tolerant with gay people?
Csongor: -
 Hungary is tolerant over there, but not so far it's needed. There are many unsolved problems, and I come from gay parade does not charge, in fact condemn, but to love noted that the problem is not the people who go out, but the organizers. As long as peace is not possible to organize carnivals, while there is no question that the people march along Andrássy Avenue. While all hot you can not tolerant of their own environment as long as a country is raging in the doldrums and envy, will organize a gay parade should not be, but you know it comes to parades, a carnival rather irritating word. It would be, for example, LGBT carnival and this can only be organized in a place where there are answers to unresolved issues, appropriate, satisfactory and positive results. It's great to raise this issue, I hope many of you will be competent to read. Today, Hungary is a legitimate heterosexual in the statement that you're at it we are also marching for me ... This is the word socialism, communism evokes the east, it can see here that the organizers can not but live in the present with the past. And among the peoples that should be abolished, because it would not parade it to be. Overall, across a large pile of crap. To their credit pardon the expression, but I would say the way I feel and think the situation and the specific topic around which my response is built. Hungary is lagging behind the rest of tolerance from plenty of 100 years, but it depends on us. The past does not happen everyday so many atrocities, such as the gay parade starts ... You can not play in Hungary today that Western tolerance is because, unfortunately, it is 100 years apart from our disadvantage ... once and for all, should be clarified in the environment, what it means tolerance, what does the gay and faggot means. Perhaps it did not hurt to be aware that there is what equality between heterosexual and homosexual life as a prostitute here and there is the same fucking here is the same and there, now but a positive, homemade here, and there are also homemade as well as decent working here and there. Today in Hungary we can not talk about tolerance, because this country is raging envy and malice. We should tolerate and accept that others more have other people doing better, smarter, cleverer, made him more ready, their attitude is better, more talented ... these if they have the rest of what you have listed, you can literally whether to accept that we also we are like them, no better at all.

 

- What is your message to people who are in front of undertaking their homosexuality? Why should they do it?
Csongor: - My message to those who stand in front of a this kind of decision or are thinking about this. Dears, be sensible, walk and think at the very start, in the right place at the right time. I believe in you and I respect you. No need to rush to embrace riding, do not open yourselves everywhere at once, but every time you open give effect to ripen, ripen gradually ... tell otherness and gently, put your balance and be smart. I'm not saying that it stops their way into a two unpleasant person, but if you learn to handle them, it will not be a problem, and please stop the violence, choose curse solution, settlement, because it is not good, do not forget violence begets violence and peace peace born. Do not be envious malevolence, and not worth it, the hard way, but the fruit is sweet! My message to you is that I love everybody and I'm going to love you the way! Be good if you can ... :)

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